We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
