We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
