I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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