did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
