I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
