what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
do herpes really smell.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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