Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I need to stop coming to work sober
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
