They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
