this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
