Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
