New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
