i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
