I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
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