He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
