so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My nipple is on Facebook.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Randomize
