i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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