i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Bring me that man meat
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
