Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
