Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
