trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Randomize
