I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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