My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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