so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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