the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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