Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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