i think i have two assholes
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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