isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
