I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I can't turn off my feet"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
