so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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