Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
