If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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