I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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