she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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