There is no way he is gay with that hair.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
