I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize