He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
soo... how was my night?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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