i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Semen is not good for contacts.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
