Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
