On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
