Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
