I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
