you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
