Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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