My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
