We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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