I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
