Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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