You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
