I want to walk on stilts...naked
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
