dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
