What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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