dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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