first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
