He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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