WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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