matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
