we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
