At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
